I'm worn...

I'm sitting in the parking lot this morning waiting for baby M to go to her visit, I was thinking that it would get easier as the weeks pass by but unforchantly it's only getting harder. On the way to dropping her off I usually find my self crying thinking of where she is going and who is taking her. This entire process has been more then I could have ever imagined in good ways and bad. I knew I could love any kid that you gave me but I did not know I would take one look at them and my heart would melt. I also did not know what kind of cruel world that we lived in and what a journey this would be. I love baby M with all my heart and want her parents to succeed and more then anything come to know The Lord but my heart breaks for what she will be going back to. I know that God has a plan for us and baby M and that I will trust in him always but this morning my heart is worn. 

I’m Tired I’m worn

My heart is heavy

From the work it takes

To keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes

I’ve let my hope fail

My soul feels crushed

By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up

But I'm too weak

Life just won’t let up

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin

Yeah, I’m worn

Even before the day begins

Yeah, I’m worn

I’ve lost my will to fight

I’m worn

So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn

Yeah I’m worn

I heard this song today on the way dripping baby M off. What a wonderfull way to express what so many of us feel some days. The weight of this world sometimes feels like it's to much to bare. But lucky for us we know that one day there will be no more tears and our heavenly God will be there beside us. I will leave with this scripture, it's what gets me through these tough days...

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Our sweet  angel this morning sleeping waiting to be picked up.