Jalens 2!!!

We went to music class and open gym this morning for Jalens birthday. What a blast the kids had! Can't believe that our big boy is 2!! Happy birthday buddy. We love you!!!

Off to make a birthday cake for him with his Big sissy Soley! 

All about kids..

These two are so sweet together.  They played the entire time with each other! 

Jalen's Party

This past weekend we had Jalen's 2nd Birthday party! Everything went amazing! We had such a fun time, and most of all Jalen LOVED it! We did a Mickey Mouse theme because Jalen LOVES Mickey.   Most of our parties are 50 + people, but this mama of three and 5 1/2 months pregnant wanted to do something smaller this go round.  We still had a few friends and family, it was so nice to not be running around like crazy! After the party Soley even said can I have a smaller party like that next time! HAHA

Jalen's Gifts!!!

Cake and decor

Mickey Oreos! 

Funny Jalen was a little boy when he was born, and now he is so big! He weighs the same as Soley! 31 Pounds! 

What an amazing slide! The kids all played so well on this for hours! It's the same we had for the girls party, it's 18 feet tall! 

Jumping on our trampoline! 

Jalen's Mickey cake

Giving RaRi a kiss

Eating a candle, haha, Jon was trying to get him to lick the icing, but he took a bite of the candle. HAHA he swallowed it right away, lucky for him he is so good looking! 

Giving Mya a kiss

Silly Sissy

Soley and her Boyfriend, Rolfe. (that's what they call each other, no joke)  These two always amaze me. They play so well together and seem to have an indescribable love for each other, it worries us mama's sometimes! They were sliding down the slide together holding hands, and giving hugs, it was so sweet!

Piñata time!

Finally some boy things! Poor Jalen was stuck with all boy toys! 

Sibling love...

It's amazing how these kids love each other. It really shows that we are made to love in all circumstances. All children are gifts from God and I love these three more then anyone will ever know! 

Unsure about Fostering..

Today Jon and I had a meeting with Mya's social worker. Our goal for the meeting was to be able to have a better understanding about where Mya's case is going and when. Jon and I both finished the meeting feeling overwhelmed, sad, angry and tired. It seems that an answer is not in sight for a little bit. And as much as we want our home to be Mya's forever home as the calendar days of 2014 dissipate it looks more and more like Mya will be going back to her "family" as her worker calls it.  Which really sounds weird because the people (us) who have taken care of her every day of her life minus the first 6 weeks out of the hospital are not her family. What we do know is that Mya has a court date in the middle of December that will also be a hearing where the judge will decide one of the following...

1- return Mya to her Bio dad

2- give bio dad unsupervised visits 

3- everything will remain the same with twice a week supervised visits 

Either way no matter the outcome if Mya is returned or if she will be adopted out it's more then likely that it will not take place until Mya is almost two years old! I don't know if it just me but that seems crazy to me. At what point is it to long? As much as we don't want Mya to go back we also don't think that she should be here another 9 months and then be returned. I don't think our family could emotional handle that or Mya could handle that.  Everyone keeps saying that there are services in place to take care of Mya and help her transition but we all know that there will be permanent damage that will alter her personality and perception of the world for the rest of her life.  I can't imagine what she will feel when we are not in her life anymore, I hate the fact that she will feel like we have abandoned her, and let her down just like everyone else in the world. But how do you explain to a 16 month old that we don't have a choice and that your Mommy and Daddy that you have know for the last 12-24 months of your life will no longer be there for you anymore, and even bigger how do you say it knowing that she is going back to a bad situation where she will face being another statistic one day?

The reason that we decided to get into fostering is because we wanted to make a difference in these children's lives and their parents lives.  We wanted to do what we thought God had placed on our heart.  We wanted to put our self last and be servants of God.  We wanted to do what we thought his people should be doing.  But now I'm questioning did we make the right choice?  Honestly if Mya and or Jalen go back at this point all of our hard work and everything we will have put in will be gone in a matter of few weeks.  I honestly feel like we have not made a difference, that we have failed.

No matter what the outcome I can tell you this, no one loves this little girl more then us, except God.  I don't know why our paths have crossed and I'm not sure when or if we will go our separate ways but I love her more then anything, and we are preparing our hearts to let her go.  I am not sure what that looks like or even how to start that process but I am sure that we will figure it out.

What is the hardest thing to let go of, is knowing that we live in a sinful world, and just because Mya is going back does not mean that's what God wants for her. 

What??? I can't do this??

Yes... She is our climber!!!

Hilton Head

Every year we go on vacation with my family, and we usually go to Hilton Head, which WE LOVE!!! If you have not been there, it really is AMAZING!  Our trip looked a little different this year, with two 1 year olds in tow! Everyone really did have an amazing time! The kids really loved the beach and the pool, and slept well and did not do to bad on the long car ride! Here are some pics and videos of the kids playing and swimming.  Our house was amazing it was right on the beach just a few steps away and had its own pool! (THANKS MOM!!) Our family is totally a beach and pool family! We were the first out the door to the beach and pool every morning, and other then one raining day we never choose to go anywhere else! My kids like to be going and not stuck in the house, and so do I! So being able to get up and go worked perfect for us! 

Soley is such an amazing swimmer! Below you can see her dive for a ring that is 5ft down! She can swim so well! She will for sure be joining a swim team next summer! Jalen is such a good swimmer him self, considering he has had no lessons, he is AMAZING! 

It's a GIRL!!!

3 days to go...

Gender ultrasound, three days and counting...  Poll to the right, what do you think???

Where has the time gone???

Humm... I don't know, maybe to three adorable little kids, and a pregnant mommy! Poor Jon he is on the outs these days as we are all so tired when the days comes to an end.  I put the kids down for bed and then go straight to my room and don't get up until morning! Oh well! These are the days right???

What's been going on? Well I'm not really sure where to start to here we go...


Canada- Yes we took three kids to Canada in the Car for a 13 hour drive, yes we are insane.  Both Soley and Jalen did amazing, but our sweet Mya had the ride of her life! She pretty much cried the entire time, minus the thirty minutes that she slept.  It was bad, but we made it there, and back home all in one piece and we thank the GOOD LORD! While in Canada the kids had a great time, Soley of course had the most fun.  She is so attached to Jon's parents that she would stay with them forever I think! We went to the beach several days, Soley fished almost every day and we were able to see lots of Family that had never met the babies and we had not seen for over a year.  All of the kids slept really well, except for Mya (starting to see a pattern?).  Mya did not do well sleeping she was up all night long, would not go to bed until after midnight and would be up before 6am.  It made for a rough few days, but luckily Jon and took turns and his parents helped out too!

Soley playing at the beach! 

Since we returend we have been busy with having our house on the market, getting ready for school, and all our activities! The kids have enjoyed doing music class together and we have been hitting up a lot of open gyms and parks! 

Soley- Soley is growing like a weed! She is still tall and thin, but it more beautiful then ever! She is so thoughtful and cares so much about her brother and sister.  Now don't get me wrong she has her moments, but as we will be approaching the one year mark of having the babies in just a few short weeks, the growth I have seen in this little girl is amazing! I pray every day that she is learning from us to be a servant of the Lord and that taking in these babies is something that we can do to show our commitment to being a servant and follower of Christ! Soley has started Soccer at our church about a week ago, she is loving it.  She is on a team with our friends and I am helping coach with his father.  It's so sweet to see her all dressed up as it reminds me of being a little girl.  I don't know that soccer is going to be her sport as she loves ballet and asks daily to be a cheerleader but I am totally fine with that! I love that she is a girly girl! Soley will be starting school next week and I am so nervous for her! Even though she is in pre-k it's still a big girl school and she will be wearing a uniform and all! She will go three half days a week! She is still into playing with her baby dolls and barbies! She loves to be outside and ride her bike! 

Jalen- Our sweet little boy is coming so far! Some days I look at him and think he looks so old, and is loosing his baby look! Jalen started school this week, and he had a rough first day, but a better second day! I am hoping that it only better from here on out! He has three teachers in his room and he also goes three days a week for three hours each day! Jalen is still in speech and OT, and we have a family therapist that comes once a week.  He is becoming more attached to all of us and more affectionate! His case is still in the early stages of TPR, if everything goes well he could possibly get a trial by the end of the year, but you just never know! So we will continue to pray! 

Mya- Our little peanut is WALKING! Yes she is walking everywhere! even know she is 15 months now, she still looks like a 10month old.  She will really just melt your heart by looking at her! Her hair is growing longer and is so curly, its so cute! She is still in the 2nd percentiles, but she is growing bigger every day.  She can say, please thank you, mama, daddy, sissy, baby, and a few other words.  She is still doing speech but was dismissed from all other therapy!  She will be at home with me and the baby when he/she comes.  Mya's case is still so up in the air I have no info to report because I don't understand anything at this point.  I'm hopeful to know more by the end of the year, if Mya is still in our care at that point.  

Baby #4- Is growing a ton, because as of 13 weeks I had already gained 5 pounds! I'm still not in maternity things, but don't fit great in my stuff, lol it's a bad stage! We find out the gender on Sep 3rd, and will be looking to nail down a name soon after as every one knows I can't wait to do anything and have a manic personality! Jon and I have one girl name that we both like, but that's it. So it's going to be hard! Feb 11th, 2015 is that due date :) so about 6 months to go!